This isn’t your usual fish story. Three divers are in deep water after an outdoor New Year’s party in Denmark. While the charges against them may eventually include illegal fishing and animal abuse, what actually happened with the divers, a pike and a bottle of champagne sounds more like a case of DWI (diving while intoxicated). According to Reuters news services, the three frogmen are being investigated after a news photo in the Nowa Trybuna daily showed them "neck-deep in a lake, with one of them tipping a bottle of cheap Russian bubbly into the fish’s open mouth." One of the divers explained that they found the pike half-dead and wanted to "restore it to consciousness by treating it with champagne." Greater love hath no man. Rather than fishy, their story sounds plausible. A pike would have to be half-dead to be captured with bare hands and posed for a picture. Because of its razor-sharp teeth, capable of reducing human flesh to something resembling shredded New Year’s confetti, it’s highly unlikely anyone would want to be near the pike’s open mouth under normal circumstances. Before the authorities utter "poor fish" one more time, perhaps they should consider the possibility that the fish had been imbibing earlier in the evening. Why else would we have the expression, "drunk to the gills"? Fish and drinking have been linked together for a long time. That’s why we say someone drinks like a fish and someone who drinks too much is said to be "tanked." It’s why we have no problem eating pickled herring or pickled perch. In defense of the divers, it’s possible the fish charged toward the divers’ bottle of champagne on its own after it saw the cork. Fish seem naturally attracted to corks and that’s why we fish with cork bobbers. Perhaps the divers in the news photo weren’t forcing champagne into the pike, but were simply trying to remove the pike’s mouth from the cork-end of the bottle. Retrieving the cork before it could be swallowed by the pike was undoubtedly viewed as a safer alternative than applying mouth-to-gill resuscitation and running the risk of a lacerated face. Although the divers are facing animal abuse charges from the Danish police, Americans might avoid taking sides. After all, we shouldn’t be too quick to criticize the divers when we, as students, gulped down all of those live goldfish during the 60s. Who are we to throw the first stone while live oysters are being shucked and served at street stands in New Orleans? Several years ago while we were on vacation, my husband and I stopped at one of those stands. After watching the burly man behind the counter shuck one oyster after another, we decided to try eating them raw for the first time. The limp, little oyster bodies were carefully placed on two crackers and sprinkled with dashes of hot sauce. Following the shucker’s directions, we chewed each treat three times and swallowed. "When did that oyster actually die?" I asked, wiping my mouth with a paper napkin. "When it was pulled from the ocean or when you removed it from its shell?" He smiled knowingly. "It died with your first bite." When it comes to sea-life cruelty charges, I would have to plead guilty.

Top 10 reasons Pres. George W. Bush wants to grant amnesty to illegal Mexicans. No. 10: He forgot his father granted amnesty to 2.7 million illegal aliens in 1986. (Reference Thunderbolt of Truth magazine.)No. 9: He’s just replacing all the babies killed by abortion every year. No. 8: Nobody told him all the factories are moving to Mexico, so he should send them all back home. No. 7: If all the illegals were sent back, Tyson, ConAgra, Smithfield and Wal-Mart would have to shut down or pay a living wage. No. 6: There isn’t anyone left in Mexico worth stealing from. No. 5: Half of them can’t go back anyway because they are in U.S. jails living off the taxpayers.No. 4: Because George W. Bush and his friends would have to pay a living wage to their servants. No. 3: Because George W. Bush likes tacos and wants the U.S. to be more like Mexico. No. 2: It’s a sure way to put the false identification card sellers out of business.No. 1: We can’t build casinos on that giant reservation south of the Rio Grande so the natives would be happy to stay there. My apologies if I’ve offended anyone or everyone with my top 10 lists.Marvin KroontjeMagnolia

This isn’t your usual fish story. Three divers are in deep water after an outdoor New Year’s party in Denmark. While the charges against them may eventually include illegal fishing and animal abuse, what actually happened with the divers, a pike and a bottle of champagne sounds more like a case of DWI (diving while intoxicated). According to Reuters news services, the three frogmen are being investigated after a news photo in the Nowa Trybuna daily showed them "neck-deep in a lake, with one of them tipping a bottle of cheap Russian bubbly into the fish’s open mouth." One of the divers explained that they found the pike half-dead and wanted to "restore it to consciousness by treating it with champagne." Greater love hath no man. Rather than fishy, their story sounds plausible. A pike would have to be half-dead to be captured with bare hands and posed for a picture. Because of its razor-sharp teeth, capable of reducing human flesh to something resembling shredded New Year’s confetti, it’s highly unlikely anyone would want to be near the pike’s open mouth under normal circumstances. Before the authorities utter "poor fish" one more time, perhaps they should consider the possibility that the fish had been imbibing earlier in the evening. Why else would we have the expression, "drunk to the gills"? Fish and drinking have been linked together for a long time. That’s why we say someone drinks like a fish and someone who drinks too much is said to be "tanked." It’s why we have no problem eating pickled herring or pickled perch. In defense of the divers, it’s possible the fish charged toward the divers’ bottle of champagne on its own after it saw the cork. Fish seem naturally attracted to corks and that’s why we fish with cork bobbers. Perhaps the divers in the news photo weren’t forcing champagne into the pike, but were simply trying to remove the pike’s mouth from the cork-end of the bottle. Retrieving the cork before it could be swallowed by the pike was undoubtedly viewed as a safer alternative than applying mouth-to-gill resuscitation and running the risk of a lacerated face. Although the divers are facing animal abuse charges from the Danish police, Americans might avoid taking sides. After all, we shouldn’t be too quick to criticize the divers when we, as students, gulped down all of those live goldfish during the 60s. Who are we to throw the first stone while live oysters are being shucked and served at street stands in New Orleans? Several years ago while we were on vacation, my husband and I stopped at one of those stands. After watching the burly man behind the counter shuck one oyster after another, we decided to try eating them raw for the first time. The limp, little oyster bodies were carefully placed on two crackers and sprinkled with dashes of hot sauce. Following the shucker’s directions, we chewed each treat three times and swallowed. "When did that oyster actually die?" I asked, wiping my mouth with a paper napkin. "When it was pulled from the ocean or when you removed it from its shell?" He smiled knowingly. "It died with your first bite." When it comes to sea-life cruelty charges, I would have to plead guilty.

By Lori EhdeAn important part of any county emergency management plan is a community’s ability to respond to public health emergencies.That’s why Nobles-Rock Public Health hosted a planning meeting last week to put the region in a better position to deal with a health emergency scenario such as a SARS outbreak.The purpose of the seminar was to connect affected agencies and outline potential steps to follow should a public health emergency occur."A lot of it is knowing who to call," said Public Health Director Bonnie Frederickson. "From a readiness perspective, we know our staff isn’t that big. We have made the decision to build a regional response team."She said an infectious disease like SARS could be worse than a natural disaster like a flood or tornado, because the casualties continue indefinitely."It could drain the capacity of one community in a hurry," Frederickson said. "That’s why we need to look collectively at what we can do in a situation like that."She said key discussion hinged on communication within the communities and across state borders. This included the critical care centers in Sioux Falls, South Dakota Emergency Management and local public health agencies in Iowa.Along those same lines, the seminar stressed the importance of partnerships among agencies within communities. For example, schools, counties, hospitals, media and others need to know what their roles might be in an emergency.Frederickson said attendees also learned about state and federal resources to draw on in an emergency and about how public health emergencies fall under the county emergency management system.Rock County Emergency Management Director Kyle Oldre attended the meeting, along with about 60 other representatives from communities in Rock and Nobles counties."People learned a little more about the disease and learned a little more about what their responsibilities and capabilities are," Oldre said."I think it made them go back and think about what their capabilities are, and ask, ‘Are we capable of meeting a disaster of this kind?’"He said the SARS scenario was a good way to test local emergency response. "I thought it was very good training. … We may not have SARS, but you can apply the same principles," he said. "If you know you can handle 15 casualties at the same time, it doesn’t matter if its Influenza A, or SARS or what it is. The same principals can be applied."Public Health Nurse Diane Boyenga is the response coordinator for Nobles Rock Public Health should a public health emergency occur in Rock County. The agency has developed a public health annex that would guide the response.She said that boils down to making sure everyone’s on the same page in a disaster."The big challenge is knowing what each of us is doing and being able to blend," Boyenga said. "Communicating and working together is key."She said the meeting didn’t necessarily prepare the region for a disaster, but it’s a good start."This is a monumental task when you’re trying to prepare for the unknown," Boyenga said. "We’ve got a long way to go, but the wheels of thought are in process."Frederickson said the seminar helped fulfill requirements for a federal public health preparedness grant Nobles Rock Public Health received from the Minnesota Department of Health and the Centers for Disease Control."The day was certainly full of good discussion," Frederickson said. "I think we know our partners, but there’s a lot more we can do with training and building relationships."A "table top" exercise to test a regional response to an infectious disease is planned for Feb. 11 in Worthington, followed by a functional drill scheduled in March and a full-scale regional drill in April.

By Lori EhdePlans are coming together for a new business venture, "Plaza 75," on South Highway 75 in Luverne.Rich Dreckman has owned Align-Tech & Tire for seven years, and two years ago, he bought the True Value property after the hardware store burned in December 2001.The office and retail complex will be located just east of Align-Tech in what used to be the hardware store space.If the project comes together as planned, the 8,000-square-foot building could house anywhere from five to nine tenants, depending on who signs leases and what their needs are."It’s for any retailer looking for highway traffic exposure," Dreckman said. "The Department of Transportation count is close to 10,000 cars per day. … Parking and traffic count are the biggest appeal."So far, Dreckman said he’s got two renters — not yet signed — who have expressed earnest interest, in addition to about a dozen serious inquiries.Dreckman said interior offices will be connected by main corridors that meet in a center atrium.The exterior will be stucco with brick façade, with professional landscaping and a new asphalt parking lot with painted spaces."We’re using the roof structure that’s there, but it’ll be a brand-new building when it’s done," Dreckman said. "We want this to be a professional plaza that you can be proud to be in. We don’t want people thinking I’m putting up a tin building with offices inside."When tenants move in, a large sign, similar to those used by strip malls, will advertise all the enclosed businesses.Until recently, Dreckman used the adjoining property at the corner of Harrison and Highway 75 to sell used cars, but over Christmas dinner, his brother, Stan Dreckman, Fargo, N.D., had a better idea for that space."He, as an outsider looking in, could see something I couldn’t," Dreckman said. "He saw the 10,000 cars (per day) going by and all the parking space. … It’s just a better use for that property."If local interest is an indicator, his brother — also an investor in the project — had a pretty good idea."Sometimes the best market research is just talking to people," Dreckman said. "And 90 percent of the people who see this say it’s a good idea; it’s something we need in Luverne."Dreckman is getting his financing together for the project and said he hopes to get leases signed in the next six weeks. Construction will be completed in the next several months.Rental inquiries can be directed to Gene Cragoe, who’s handling lease contracts for the project, at Cragoe Realty, 283-2647.

By Sara Strong Dingmann Funeral Home took part in its most uneventful conditional use hearing Tuesday. Hearing no objections, the Luverne Planning Commission unanimously voted to approve the conditional use permit that will allow the funeral home and crematorium to be where the Luverne Medical Center is now. The Planning Commission’s action serves as a recommendation to the Luverne City Council, which has final approval. The council seldom varies from committee recommendations. The Medical Center will be vacated in 2005 for its new location on the north edge of Luverne. This is owner Dan Dingmann’s latest attempt to relocate out of the historic funeral home he now operates on West Main Street. Last time around, the hearings for permits got many objections from neighbors of the proposed site, Fledgling Field, which is where the old elementary school was formerly located. His efforts to get a funeral home there on North Highway 75 started five years ago. Besides neighborhood objections, zoning for the residential area is very strict — and funeral homes are not listed as a use in low-density residential zones. This time, Dingmann wanted to get all zoning approval in line before finalizing the sale of any property. The clinic is within a residential-institutional zone, which has less stringent rules for development than the Fledgling Field area has. Funeral homes are listed as a conditional use, so Dingmann just had to apply. Before, he struggled to try to change what was allowed as a "conditional use." The deal for Dingmann to purchase the clinic is just in the form of a memorandum of understanding at this point. To start, he will use parking to the north for funeral home customers. The city will still own the hospital portion of the campus, and it may be more feasible to demolish it and use it for parking . The parking lots north of the Medical Center could then be sold for development. Possible uses for the existing hospital have been studied, and remodeling costs appear too costly for most uses. The city will get ownership of Fledgling Field to use as it sees fit. The city of Luverne is also financing $100,000 of the purchase of the clinic for Dingmann, who will repay the loan in 15 years. The city reasoned this would also initiate more property tax money. The total cost for the site, according to the memorandum of understanding is $235,000. Dingmann will also have to remodel the clinic at a cost of about $300,000.

Luverne Subway Manager Shawn Byers prepares orders Tuesday with employees JoAnn Carrell and Shelly O'Neil.By Lori EhdeState and local Public Health officials are investigating a rash of stomach illnesses that appear to stem from food consumed at Subway in Luverne.Stool samples are being tested to confirm the origin of the illnesses, but a number of people who ate at Subway on Friday, Jan. 23, all came down with similar symptoms at the same time, roughly 18 hours later.The owner of Luverne’s Subway, Jim Dreyden, Sioux Falls, said the people didn’t get sick from eating at Subway."It was a stomach virus that was not traced to Subway," Dreyden told the Star Herald Tuesday. "…I’m not a doctor, but it’s not food poisoning. It’s a stomach virus."Bonnie Frederickson, director of Nobles Rock Public Health said there was good reason to investigate these illnesses."It appears a bunch of people all got ill at the same time, and that’s why the investigation is linking it to a food-borne exposure of some kind," Frederickson said.More than 20 people in the claims department of Continental Western Group Tri-State Region, Luverne, got sick the next day after eating Subway food during a lunch meeting on Jan. 23.Many had to cancel weekend plans and some missed work the following Monday.Including those numbers, 34 people so far who ate at Subway that day reported similar symptoms: vomiting, diarrhea and cramps."All these people meet case definition of a suspected viral illness," Frederickson.Tests on stool samples will tell whether the illness was viral in nature. Those results will not be ready, however, for another week."When this happens, we turn it in right away to headquarters and to public health," said Dreyden, who repeatedly denied the likelihood that Subway’s food was the source."What is strange is that some people ate there and didn’t get sick," he said. "Some employees got sick, and some did not."According to local health officials, Subway had not contacted the Department of Health when customers called to alert the business of possible food poisoning.Affected parties said Subway instead offered to make it right.Frederickson said her office didn’t hear of the illnesses until Jan. 27, and the call didn’t come from Subway.Public Health Sanitarian Jason Kloss said local Subway employees were accommodating when he contacted them."I visited with Subway last week, and the employees and manager have been wonderful to work with," Kloss said. "They’re very interested in implementing all the recommendations I had for them to minimize problems in the future."Manager Shawn Byers said hand-washing is one of the safety measures Kloss stressed most in this case, in addition to minimizing hand contact with ready-to-eat food.Kloss said the illnesses weren’t categorized as an "outbreak," and certainly didn’t warrant shutting down the restaurant for any length of time."We felt the problem was very contained," Kloss said. "The public can be assured there is no risk of further spread of illness."

By Sara StrongRock County is sending its own interpretation of law enforcement numbers to the city of Luverne.Administrator Kyle Oldre said he and other county staff tried to "accurately present the issues" in the presentation Tuesday.The Luverne City Council has offered five options it thinks the county should consider in changing how it charges for law enforcement and dispatching services.The city has said it pays too much of the county’s cost for services. The county says the city is getting a fair rate.Rock County will share its data with the city, and both will try to come to a conclusion on the contracts.The county’s take The figures (as in the accompanying graphic) were collected from city administrators and clerks. They all include revenues, use 2002 populations, include dispatch if they pay for it and factor in building rent.Worthington’s law enforcement cost, for example, includes a bond payment for its facility that will be in place for 20 years. (Worthington’s cost per person without the bond payment would be about $155.)"There is a reason we selected these cities; we didn't just throw a dart at the map," Oldre said.He said that the county seats in the region represent similar, rural locations and economic conditions.Oldre said he was confident in the methods used to calculate the per capita cost. Previously, the city reported numbers such as the city of Windom paying $0.77 for dispatch costs. Oldre said that he asked follow-up questions and found that dispatching in Windom didn't include recordkeeping like Rock County does. Recordkeeping, rent and dispatching equipment in Windom's law enforcement budget are different line items.The city began looking into all its contracts in a year of tight budget forecasts. The county is protecting its budget in the same way, as it also expects the state to set levy limits.Population demands Sometimes the county and city will refer to city residents as paying 60 percent of law enforcement costs, including what Luverne taxpayers pay to both the city and county.The county has said it uses that number, but doesn’t necessarily agree with the philosophy of counting tax dollars on top of fees, because all cities with a contract pay a fee and county taxes.Luverne makes up 47 percent of the county’s population, and makes up 56.6 percent of the department’s calls for service.Taking out burn permits, which city residents don’t use, Luverne actually gets 63.5 percent of the department’s time. So the county says Luverne’s getting exactly what it pays for.Commissioner Richard Bakken said, "I think the burn permits are a moot point; you don't call an officer to get a burn permit."Cost of service The Tuesday presentation to the commissioners was in reaction to the five options the city asked Rock County to consider.Luverne’s options sent to the county assumed the same level of service would remain in place, even though it would cut dispatch and law enforcement payments to the county by about $300,000 to $400,000.Considering the total law enforcement and dispatching budget is about $1 million, the county says losing Luverne’s fees to that extent would mean service cuts. In theory, if the level of service remained, as it is today, Luverne would go from paying for 50 percent of the cost of law enforcement to between 17 and 32 percent, if the county accepted one of its options.Luverne came to those numbers because the county is obligated to provide a basic service even without its contract.The county board didn’t make a decision or discuss the options in detail, but commissioners generally said Luverne’s proposals can’t work. If Luverne won’t pay more of the contract cost, Rock County will likely reduce the service it offers through the Sheriff’s Department.Calls for things such as dog or cat nuisances or other misdemeanors probably wouldn’t be addressed by officers. Dispatchers would determine if the call was a priority for "keeping the peace" as fewer officers worked the entire county. Officers also would stop doing city functions such as opening park gates and public restrooms.Commissioner Jane Wildung said that previously, she thought that the city wanted more service and was willing to pay for it. "It was just a year ago," she said, "that we went through these heart-wrenching community meetings. Things were happening involving children and people wanted us to beef up service and get more arrests."Bakken said, "If you don’t remember the past, you are condemned to repeat it — and it wasn’t too long ago that we had big problems here. We don’t want to go back to that." The city also proposed that a committee evaluate law enforcement. County Attorney Don Klosterbuer said, "We just started it. We had a cross-section of local people discussing it in 1996 and ‘97."The county said in a statement: "In 1996/1997 a task force comprised of members representing the city council, county board, Sheriff’s Department, City Police Department, citizen representatives, and appointed officials worked together to determine the most equitable funding basis for law enforcement. This was accomplished through careful considerations of all aspects of law enforcement, including, but not limited to: service expectations, current costs, additional non-traditional expenses for each party, i.e., board of prisoners, crossing guards, configuration of department, etc." Wildung said that the city of Luverne has had a long history of paying for law enforcement, forming a police department as the city was founded."If it wanted all of Rock County to pay so it could have the service, that’s a decision that should’ve been made in 1867, not 2004."

By Jolene FarleyThe recent dip into sub-zero temperatures and a substantial amount of snowfall means a change in routine for some, but for others life remains the same. Livestock producers are putting in more hours moving snow and making sure cattle have fresh, flowing water and enough bedding to withstand the cold.Cattle producer Rollie Crawford, Beaver Creek, estimates he and his brother, Clair, work an extra hour a day doing chores when it’s cold. The Crawford brothers have cows and feeder cattle.In the freezing temperatures, equipment takes longer to warm up, according to Crawford.It takes even more time to finish chores when it snows and the brothers have to scoop or blow snow before they can get to equipment or feed the cattle. The Crawfords worked all weekend blowing and scooping snow trying to stay ahead of the 9-inch snowfall that began Friday evening. They hope the wind doesn’t come up and blow snow back to the areas they cleared. "You always have to make sure the bunks are cleaned out," Crawford said. Producers also have added costs during cold, snowy weather. Cattle eat more to keep warm, but don’t have the same rate of weight gain as during warmer periods. Electricity costs increase because heaters run more to keep waterer from freezing. "When it’s colder, cattle drink more to keep warm," Crawford said.All in all, Crawford thinks the weather this year hasn’t been as severe as some other years. "Everything’s growing so well, we haven’t had to fight the cold, cold like we did some years," he said.Doug Chapman, of Chapman Refrigeration and Electric, Hills, hasn’t seen an increase in service calls for furnace repair since the onset of the colder sub-zero temperatures. He said his service calls have remained about the same all winter.Chapman has been in business in Hills for 17 years."Generally you go through a service period in the fall," he said.If a furnace is going to develop a problem, the problem usually would have occurred and been repaired earlier in the winter, according to Chapman. He suggests that homeowners have their furnaces serviced at least once a year. Repairmen check how the furnace is burning and makes sure the filters are changed.Older furnaces could require additional maintenance, including installing new belts and oiling the blower.Oil furnaces especially need to be cleaned so they light properly and burn cleanly, according to Chapman. A yearly once-over can prevent trouble down the road. Servicemen are trained to look for the little problems that could arise.