She did countless things that got me riled. She sang the chorus of songs over and over because she couldn’t remember any other words; put green peppers in spaghetti sauce; wore sandals that made farting sounds when she walked.Without even saying it, you can probably guess I’m talking about my mom.Organizations and individuals are continually studying what makes a healthy child. They often point to community assets or needs and share theories on what is needed. Inevitably, either in the research or in private comments, someone will say, "It all starts at home." I couldn’t agree more.Of the complaints people have of their mothers, mine are petty, and honestly, I can’t remember anything else to list against her. Those are really just leftovers from the teenage years, anyway.I know I’m not alone in thinking my mom is pretty special, especially with Mother’s Day right around the corner. This time of year, we read about and see on TV beautiful, touching stories of mothers. Some of those are miraculous, larger-than-life adventures with mom playing a hero.The story of my mom isn’t quite like that. Her Mother’s Day story is simply about a sweet woman, working hard and loving her family.Mom’s own mother died when Mom was just 12, so it’s even more wonderful that she had such a perfect vision of how to be a good mother to her three girls. It’s only as an adult that I’ve counted her as a friend. That’s important to note, because she was a fun mom. It’s just that, in our house, we knew she was a co-leader of the family, and she didn’t worry about winning a popularity contest with her children. She was the boss and we respected her for it. Friends were left to peers.Whether she worked in or out of the home at any given time, Mom was always there, a constant presence, adding her guidance, discipline, creativity, warmth, humor and intelligence to our family dynamics. What she did is almost as important as what she didn’t do: she didn’t volunteer for every community activity in sight; she didn’t put her own social life high on the priority list; she didn’t behave in any way she didn’t want her children to. She helped us study for tests and guided Dad through home improvement projects. She drew pictures for us to color and she cut our hair.She’s talented in ways she hasn’t been able to capitalize on, but people recognize it anyway. They ask her for decorating advice and baby care techniques. She’s invited to community groups to give cooking classes.Like most families, that cooking ability is a big part of our admiration of her. Growing up, it was always with a sense of pride that I’d answer friends’ questions about what I had for supper — whether it was Cajun, Italian, Chinese or made with the occasional unique ingredient like squid or turtle.That food sometimes turned into shrapnel as she was usually the one to laugh with a full mouth over supper conversation.She’s obviously not a perfect person, but as a mom, I think she’s as close to a perfect as I’ve ever seen.If more parents, and people in general, were like her, we’d consistently have better than average results on our community asset studies.Oh, I just remembered another thing to list against her — when we camped, Mom would serve food from old ice cream buckets. That was almost worse than those embarrassing sandals.
