Real-life reality TVwould be canceled… too real to tolerateI was glad to see a couple TV commercials announcing new fall lineups at the major networks. The ads caught my eye because they didn’t show scenes from new episodes of the latest so-called "reality" shows.Thank goodness. I hope the ads were a sign of change in our TV choices for good.I’ve gotten tired of trying to find an actual story to watch with a plot line involving real actors. Without that, TV just isn’t very fun anymore. Of course, I could stop spending my weeknights watching TV, passively or not. But Ozzy Osbourne is more likely to lose his stutter before I stop watching TV.Sometime around the peak of popularity for "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?" I stopped watching reality TV, or game shows or anything involving a primetime contest.I just couldn’t get into them. I’d rather watch imaginary dramas with more creativity than a "reality" where the premise is to kick out housemates or judge a preschooler screeching out a Whitney Houston song. In my reality, men in bikini shorts don’t eat cow brains for cash. Nor do a dozen or so eligible 20-somethings compete for some trashy lady’s affections. Well that one does happen sometimes, but it doesn’t last an entire season and there’s usually some type of prescription medication involved. Maybe I’m just bitter because I don’t have the looks, talent or personality to be on a reality show. If I had my own, it would go something like this:Episode 1 would involve me talking on the phone while painting my nails and balancing the checkbook. Neither the gossip nor the bank balance would generate much drama.Episode 2 would involve major household tension as I raise my voice, "Why should I have to kill it? Don’t you want to rescue me from the spider in the bathroom?"Episode 3 would be sort of funny … and a little sad. It would show me on the couch in my pajamas from about 7 p.m. to 10 p.m. flipping through the channels (foolishly looking for a non-"reality" show). During Episode 5 there would be a video montage of me spending a series of nights inventing things in the kitchen. It would cut to scenes like, "Honey, does this taste like that potato leek soup I ordered?" and "Don’t be scared. Just try it. It’s artichoke-spinach dip."By Episode 5, the reality show would be cancelled. … Too real for most people to tolerate.
