The sunburn on this redneck might not fadeI’m not the type to pretend I’m something I’m not, so I admit that I’m a lady who has a few hints of redneck showing on her fair skin. I say redneck by national standards, not local, because in Rock County, Minnesota, everyone is either a redneck or just one degree removed from it. There are a few classy elements to me, but that’s not what I’m highlighting today. I have to face up to the redneck traits because I just got a high score on a redneck quiz. Not that that’s a bad thing.Somehow, being redneck has become a sort of national trend, which Midwesterners have been trying to buck for years.We needlessly spent time defending ourselves while the rest of the country was embracing what came natural to us.The "redneck trend" is all over: cowboy shirts with pearly snap buttons are in chic shops; popular songs pay tribute to redneck ways; SPAM cook-offs are featured in trendy magazines; "git ‘er done" is now said by people we used to think of as elegant, and Comedy Central even had a whole weekend of redneck programming. While I may have gotten a high redneck score, I can say for myself that I’ve never had a mullet or been in love with someone who did. I’ve never owned an El Camino or bought a Jeff Foxworthy CD. I believe in the merits of higher education and don’t think it’s all right to marry cousins — not even second cousins.I have, however, eaten squirrel, processed deer sausage on my kitchen table and washed clothes in a wringer washer on my grandma’s front lawn.I drink out of garden hoses and think double-wide trailers are way under-appreciated. I enjoy my Mom’s homemade Cheez Whiz and … have even frequented Huset’s Speedway.I might as well cook up some grits and start dancing to my Bellamy Brothers Greatest Hits CD.But don’t even think about judging me, because I know most of my readers are rednecks, and no amount of sunscreen will help.
