New Yorkers aren’t laughing. In an apparent effort to enrage its residents and receive additional revenues at the same time, New York City is in the midst of what Reuters news service calls a "silly summons blitz." The so-called ticketing frenzy also serves to remind us that life can be funnier than fiction. Many of the tickets are being issued for obscure city ordinances and residents of The Big Apple must be shaking their heads in disbelief. One resident was fined $105 for sitting on a milk crate on a Bronx sidewalk, reports The Atlanta Journal-Constitution. In what could be a new way to reduce excessive tourism, a visitor to the city from Israel received a $50 ticket for taking up two seats on a subway headed for Queens. A Greenwich Village merchant had to pay a $400 fine for having too many words on his store awning. According to the New York Daily News, one woman, six months pregnant, sat down on a subway stairwell in complete exhaustion and was fined $50. Big Apple residents are suddenly aware of little known offenses, such as carrying an open bottle of water onto a bus or being a man in a playground without a child. Last, but not least, a woman in Queens was ticketed $25 for talking loudly to her neighbor, who lives in a nearby apartment. The Daily News interviewed the woman and she explained, "I couldn’t leave the food on the stove, so I opened my door and my friend opened her door and we stood in front of our apartments talking." There was no mention of whether or not a pot of simmering soup was confiscated as possible courtroom evidence in the case. However, the woman’s excuse is clearly that of a hardened criminal. The world will definitely be a better place when crate sitters, over-wordy awning owners, loud talkers and tired, pregnant women are removed from our streets. It now appears that other cities in the world hope to follow the example set by New York City. A gardener in Berlin was ticketed last month for driving his lawnmower while intoxicated. The guilty party had just finished mowing a lawn for a client when he was breath-tested by the police and fined $460. Unfortunately, he had also just finished a bottle of wine. We can only guess what behavior tipped off the police in the first place. It couldn’t have been drunk driving on a public road or speeding. He was on private property and the mower in question has a maximum speed of four miles per hour. Perhaps he left a trail of scalped flower gardens, hedges and topiaries in his wake. He might have reduced a lovely set of lawn chairs and a matching sun umbrella table to a miserable pile of shredded, plastic confetti. It might even have been the way he brandished the bottle in the air as he steered the riding mower and shouted to everyone within earshot, "Bite my clippings!" On the other hand, it might have been nothing. It’s possible similar ticketing frenzies could come to all of our towns and cities during this long, hot summer. Be careful out there.
