Marriages may soon resemble car leasing companies. Instead of leasing the latest models with options to buy, however, marriages will offer options for divorce. According to Reuters, lawmakers in Chile, one of the few countries where divorce is banned, are pushing for a new divorce law with two marriage choices — with or without the possibility of divorce. If passed, the new law will make divorce possible for couples who are wishy-washy about the whole marriage thing. It will also allow optimistic couples to renounce their right to divorce when they register their marriages. Essentially, it’s a marriage with an escape clause, a plan for a fast getaway. It’s also an extension of what we already have in our country — the so-called "starter marriages." If U.S. laws follow suit and combine marriage licenses with up-front divorce options, our views of marriage and wedding ceremonies might change drastically. Instead of having ceremonies with the words, "Until death do us part", we will hear, "Until we get tired of each other and want to move on." Like it or not, romance will be replaced by realism. From the engagement announcement in the local newspaper ("John Doe and Mary X wish to announce their upcoming marriage with an option to divorce") to the proposals ("Would you like to be married for a while?"), the changes will be dramatic. Instead of giving the happy (for the time, anyway) couple gifts that will last forever, wedding guests will select short-lived gifts with less expectations — paper plates and tablecloths, disposable cameras, 20-minute recipe cookbooks and trial subscriptions to popular magazines. Gifts that might possibly outlast the marriage itself or expensive gifts that might cause additional stress during an unpleasant divorce settlement should be avoided. Gifts that require more time to appreciate than the couple will have together might include a year-long membership in a jelly-of-the-month club, fruit baskets with green bananas or other fruits that need time to ripen, slow-growing oak tree saplings, or wine-making kits. (Unless, of course the newlyweds might not mind saying, "Ah, April. That was a good month!") Another time-spanning gift which might not be popular would be a starter collection of state quarters, given the fact that the last coins — for Hawaii and Alaska — won’t be minted until 2008. Marriages with options for divorce don’t need the added pressure of waiting for a coin collection to be completed. Given the tentativeness of their relationships, newlyweds with options to divorce hanging over their heads should avoid long-term car and apartment leases or painting their homes with slow-drying paint. They should consider having pets rather than children. (Divorces might be hard on pets, too, but at least they won’t write condemning biographies of their parents when they’re older.) They should also seek out short-term investments. "The fastest way" should be the motto for newlyweds doing projects around the house. For example, covering the yard with already-grown sod would be much more efficient than planting grass seed and then dutifully watering the yard for the next 30 days, until the divorce papers are served, or whichever comes first.
