Instead of getting outdated advice from their parents, young singles might learn much more by receiving a pet wolf spider this Christmas. Eileen Hebets, an arachnologist from Cornell University in New York, has been studying the wolf spiders, which are uncommonly known (as opposed to commonly known) as Schizocosa uetzi spiders. According to Reuters news services, her study "shows wolf spiders will eat strange-looking males that try to mate with them, but spare and even hook up with familiar-looking males." The female wolf spider, which is slightly larger than the male, can choose to mate, run away or eat her suitors. In the study, Hebets painted the legs of male spiders with colors the female hadn’t seen before. The males with fingernail polish dabbed on their legs were most likely to be eaten by the females. In other words, we’ve always known that familiarity breeds contempt but, in the spider world anyway, familiarity breeds. The Cornell study about wolf spiders may help explain actions by "higher animals", notes Hebets. Taken one step further, the following lessons from the wolf spider might be invaluable on today’s dating scene: Stay away from guys who reek of fingernail polish or have legs resembling the color of Revlon’s "Forever Scarlett" at home on your dresser. Never date someone who considers "Daddy Long Legs" and "Arachnophobia" to be movie classics. Stay away from attractive young women who greet you at their front doors by asking, "Will you step into my parlor?" In order to avoid anything resembling cannibalism later in the evening, guys should always wear the same colored clothing as their dates. It’s no big deal to call ahead of time and ask, "What are you wearing tonight?" especially if they’re thinking there are flowers involved. If a girl you’re dating whispers in your ear, "You look good enough to eat," you probably do. It might be a good time to make a speedy exit. Casual dating (for example, dating someone without knowing what their legs look like) can be dangerous. If your date tells you she wants to have you over for dinner some night, make sure first you’re the guest of honor, not the main entree. As Julius Caesar observed a long time ago, "a lean, hungry look" in someone’s eyes can’t be a good thing. Never date a girl who can’t stop talking about her favorite novel, "Charlotte’s Web." Don’t date girls who always seem to be quoting Sir Walter Scott, the poet you read about in sophomore literature. Her favorite seems to be, "O, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive!" If she drools slightly while she’s delivering that line, you are definitely in big trouble. Most of all, never entertain ideas of mating with someone if there’s at least one extra person, wearing a white lab coat and taking notes, in the same room. If you’re not eaten before the note-taking is done, you will face the humiliation of having your romantic maneuvers described by Reuters.
