It’s just what we need — another cause. This time we are being asked to stand our ground for endangered soils. Popular journals with such titles as Geotimes and Ecosystems, found on most coffee tables across our country, are busy these days interviewing Ronald Amundson, a professor of ecosystem sciences at the University of California, Berkeley. Geotimes refers to the professor as a pedologist, but you don’t need a PhD in geology to know that’s just another fancy name for a foot doctor. Here’s the dirt on endangered soils. The researchers from Berkeley say there were originally 13,129 types of soil in the U.S. A total of 508 varieties of dirt have been classified as endangered and 30-40 are considered to be extinct. Another 4,505 forms of soil are "rare," worthy of legal protection. Don’t laugh, it’s true. The scientists blame farming and urbanization for wiping out many of the soil types. The solutions are immediately obvious to anyone — we must stop all construction and farming in this country. In an earlier 1998 interview, Professor Amundson noted, "Unlike living species, undisturbed soils do not reproduce nor can they be retreated." In response we can only say, "Tell us something we don’t know." Unless we want endangered soils to disappear from under our feet like so many dodo birds and white tigers, we must treat the problem as a grave issue and fight, even if it means the end of construction and farming. (Quite ironically, many soils contain graves, but we needn’t go there right now.) By loosely following the strategies used by other activist groups, we could set up grassroots efforts to save the soils. When you think about it, grassroots and soil have a natural connection. While many wildlife activist groups encourage their members to stop buying products that advertise endangered species as ingredients, soil activists will have a much easier choice. Because both meats and plants deplete the soil, they can stop eating altogether. Letters to local senators or congresspersons, many of whom are no strangers to mud-slinging themselves, could contain veiled threats such as, "You will be treated like dirt" or "Vote this way or your name will be mud." Plain brown postage stamps, depicting the various hues of soil, could be issued by the U.S. Postal Service in an effort to remind people about the importance of dirt in our everyday lives. Select samples of endangered soils could be sent off to protective zoos where, like endangered pandas, they may or may not reproduce. Miracles do happen. Volunteer rangers could be trained to hit the dirt and guard large tracts of vulnerable soils. Armed with bulletproof vests, GPSs, compasses and field glasses, they could be on the lookout, night and day, for sinister soil poachers with their dirty tricks and dump trucks. With enough volunteers, illegal soil trading will be stopped dead in its tracks. It’s time for us to rally and defend our endangered soils, even if it means playing dirty pool.
