The following thoughts by comedian George Carlin landed in my e-mail file this week.

To spare our readers from my current thoughts on community policing, the state's land negotiations or back to school shopping, it's best to fill this space with these cute little blurbs:

1. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?

2. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

3. Why do we say something is out of whack? What's a whack?

4. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

5. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

6. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

7. When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts" and you put your two cents in... what happens to the other penny?

8. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

9. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?

10. Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?

11. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?

12. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

13. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

14. What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

15. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?

15. If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?

16. Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?

17. Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?

18. Do people who spend $2.00 a piece on those little bottles of Evian water know that spelling it backwards is NAIVE.

19. Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?

20. OK... so if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the "Jags" and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the "Bucs," what does that make the Tennessee Titans?

21. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean the fifth one enjoys it?

Have a nice Labor Day weekend and PLEASE drive slowly and carefully in school zones next week.

Bison to be auctioned at State Park
The Blue Mounds State Park annual bison auction will be at 1 p.m. on Thursday, Sept. 12, at the Blue Mounds State Park headquarters.

Approximately 20 animals will be sold, with the majority being 18 to 30 months old, according to park manager John Voges.

Other animals include four exposed 3-year-old heifers, two exposed older females and two 3-Ðyear-old butcher bulls.

For more information on the auction, contact the state park at 283-1307.

Committee announces 6th annual Crop Walk
The Rock County CROP Walk Committee has announced plans for the Sixth Annual Rock County Crop Walk.

The purpose of the walk is to raise pledges and contributions to support the work of Church World Service's fight against hunger in the world.

All money raised helps to fight hunger locally, nationally and internationally.

Twenty-five percent of the funds collected will be given to the Rock County Food Shelf.

The event will be staged Sunday, Sept. 29, beginning with registration from 1-2 p.m. at the Rock County Highway Department Building on North Blue Mound Avenue. The walk will begin at 2 p.m.

For more information, contact Rev. Dell Sanderson at 283-4431 or Jane Wildung at 283-4691.

It's not too late to file for School Board
If you have any interest in helping to run the Luverne school district, you have until Sept. 10 to file for one of the open positions.

In Luverne, four of the seven members' terms are up.

The open seats are currently held by Dan Kopp, Becky Walgrave, Cary Radisewitz and Bill Stegemann.

Filing for the office opened on Aug. 27 and will close on Sept. 10, at 5 p.m.

As of noon Wednesday, three of the incumbents, Walgrave, Kopp and Radisewitz have filed, as well as challenger Tim Burns. Stegemann has indicated he will file, but has not done so officially.

Other members of the board who are not up for re-election include Don Bryan, Steve Tofteland and Colleen Deutsch.

All terms are four-year terms and the other three will be up for re-election in two years.

To file for office you must be 21 years old or more the day you assume office, must have a residence in the school district for 30 days prior to the general election, and must have no other affidavit on file for any other office at the same primary or next ensuing general election.

The filing fee is $2.

The general election will be Tuesday, Nov. 5, between the hours of 7 a.m. and 8 p.m.

Sioux Valley Southwest changes name
The official name of the company will stay Sioux Valley Southwestern Electric, but the provider of electricity and other energy-related services has now started doing business as Sioux Valley Energy.

According to CEO Don Marker, the new name will give customers a simpler way of referring to the company.

"Also, in the future it might make it easier for the cooperative to explore new energy service options on members' behalf," Marker said.

The new "Sioux Valley Electric" will soon start appearing on signs, vehicles, billing materials and correspondence on a gradual basis to keep transitional costs to a minimum.

Blood bank reports on drive
The Community Blood Bank, a cooperative venture between Sioux Valley and Avera McKennan Hospitals in Sioux Falls, had a blood drive in Luverne on Wednesday, Aug. 28.

According to a recent press release, their effort collected 41 units of the life saving substance.

A time for their next drive has not yet been announced.

Publisher Roger Tollefson can be contacted by e-mail at
tolly@star-herald.com

Clem W. Suedkamp, 89, Adrian, died Saturday, Aug. 31, 2002, in Luverne Hospice Cottage.

Services were Tuesday, Sept. 3, at St. Adrian Catholic Church in Adrian. The Rev. Gerald Kosse officiated. Burial was in the parish cemetery.

Clem Suedkamp was born to William and Elizabeth (Dorn) Suedkamp on Sept. 19, 1912, in rural Adrian. He graduated from St. Adrian Catholic High School in 1931.

He married Margaret Loosbrock on Nov. 28, 1944, in St. Kilian Catholic Church. After their marriage, the couple farmed south of Adrian. In 1978, they retired and moved to Adrian.

Mr. Suedkamp was a member of St Adrian Catholic Church where he was a former member of the church board and the Knights of Columbus serving as past Grand Knight. He was also a former member of the Adrian Co-op Oil Board and the St. Adrian Catholic High School Board. He enjoyed fishing, hunting and reading.

Survivors include his wife, Margaret Suedkamp, Adrian; six children and their spouses, Judy (Thomas) Percer, Westminster, Calif., James (Pat) Suedkamp, Pierre, S.D., Richard (Shirley) Suedkamp, Lakewood, Colo.; Vern (Sandra) Suedkamp, rural Adrian, Ellen Suedkamp, Gainesville, Fla., and Edward (Becky) Suedkamp, San Diego, Calif.; 14 grandchildren; three great-grandchildren; three sisters, Elizabeth Nytes, Adrian, Emma Lenz, Minneapolis, and Marge (Vince) Wieneke, Lismore; and many nieces and nephews.

Mr. Suedkamp was preceded in death by his parents, two brothers, Jack and George Suedkamp, and two sisters, Marie Suedkamp and Phil Luettel.

A tree will be planted in memory of Clem Suedkamp by Hospice of Luverne Community Hospital.

Dingmann Funeral Home, Adrian, was in charge of arrangements.

Gladys V. Wulf, 94, formerly of Luverne, died Friday, July 26, 2002, at Mary House in Pierre, S.D.
Services were Tuesday, July 30, at East Side Presbyterian Church in Sioux Falls, S.D. Burial was in Beaver Creek Cemetery, Beaver Creek.

Gladys McCurdy was born to William and Della (Cooksley) McCurdy on Jan. 8, 1908, in Beaver Creek. She grew up in Beaver Creek and attended District #44 school near Beaver Creek. She attended Luverne High School.

She married Detlef Wulf on Feb. 16, 1926, in Flandreau, S.D. The couple farmed near Beaver Creek for many years. They moved to Sioux Falls in 1957. She worked as a nurseÕs aide under Sister Camillus at McKennan Hospital for more than 10 years before retiring in 1970. She recently resided at K-Nopf Assisted Living for five years before moving to the Mary House in Pierre in October 2001.

Mrs. Wulf was a member of East Side Presbyterian Church in Sioux Falls. She was a life member of the VFW Auxiliary, American Legion Auxiliary and Moose Lodge.

Survivors include one daughter, Darlene Baron Grotewold, and her husband, Floyd "Bud," Larchwood, Iowa; four grandchildren, Gordon (Gerri) Baron, Denver, Colo., Leland Baron, Pierre, Darla (Bob) Baron-Stickman, Highland Ranch, Colo., and Marsha (Gary) Baron-Hopper, Brooklyn Park; six great-grandchildren, Heidi Baron, Greenfield, Mass., Brent Baron, Pierre, Cody Stickman, Mindi Stickman, both of Highland Ranch, Nathan Hopper, Pierre, Forrest Hopper, Brooklyn Park; one sister-in-law, Viola McCurdy, Beaver Creek; many nieces and nephews; and a host of other relatives and friends.
Mrs. Wulf was preceded in death by her parents, her husband, Detlef, on May 17, 1980, one son, Orville, a son-in-law, William "Bob" Baron, one brother, Roy McCurdy, and three sisters, Ethel Sensenbach, Edna Love and Zona Sibson.

George Boom Funeral Home, Sioux Falls, was in charge of arrangements.

Arnold Walgrave, 89, Luverne, died Tuesday, Sept. 3 at Good Samaritan Village, Pipestone. Visitation will be Thursday, Sept. 5 from 2 to 8 p.m. with the family present from 6 to 8 p.m. and a prayer service at 7 p.m. at Dingmann Funeral Home, Luverne. Services will be Friday, Sept. 6 at 2 p.m. at St. Catherine Catholic Church, Luverne, with Rev. Andrew Beerman officiating. Burial will be in St. Catherine Catholic Cemetery.

Adella Graphenteen, 92, Luverne, formerly of Hardwick, died Wednesday, Sept. 4 at Mary Jane Brown Home, Luverne. Visitation will be Friday, Sept. 6 from 5 to 8 p.m. at Engebretson Funeral Home. Services will be Saturday, Sept. 7 at 11:30 a.m. at St. John Lutheran Church, Luverne. Burial will be in Trosky Cemetery.

Robert "Bob" Wissink, 65, Canton, S.D., formerly of the Hills and Steen areas, died Tuesday, Aug. 27, 2002, at his daughter's home in Sioux Falls, S.D., following a long battle with cancer.

Services were Saturday, Aug. 31, at Bethany Reformed Church in Canton. Burial was in Forest Hills Cemetery, near Canton.

Robert Wayne "Bob" Wissink was born to Harold and Ella Wissink on Aug. 16, 1937, in Hills. He attended school in Steen and Hills, and graduated from Hills High School in 1955. He graduated from Northwestern Junior College in 1957. He then served two years in the U.S. Marine Corps at Camp Pendleton in California.

He married Willma Gelling on June 2, 1959, at Springfield, S.D. They lived in Steen for a short time, before moving to Canton, S.D., in 1951. He sold real estate for several years and later opened Century 21 Wissink Realtors in Sioux Falls. He later worked for K&J Trucking. For the past seven years, he and his wife worked for South Dakota Farmers Union Travel as a bus driver and tour guide, where they worked until they retired due to his declining health.

Mr. Wissink was a member of Bethany Reformed Church of Canton. He enjoyed fishing, playing cards and golfing. In his early years he was a Ham Radio operator. He received his pilot's license in 1963 and enjoyed many hours flying with family and friends. He also held several different licenses in flying craft.

Survivors include his wife, Willma Wissink, Canton; four children and their spouses, Terry (Barb) Wissink, Chisago City, Judy (McChyne) Rall, Sioux Falls, Randy (Ellen) Wissink, Spring, Texas, and Mari (Scott) Perenoud, Sioux Falls; 10 grandchildren; his father, Harold Wissink, Steen; one sister, Mavis De Beer, Adrian; and a special aunt, Joan Hoogeveen, Steen.

Mr. Wissink was preceded in death by his mother, Ella.

Anderson Funeral Home, Canton, was in charge of arrangements.

By Sara Strong
Organizers of Blues on the Rocks are anything but sad about Luverne's first festival of music typically associated with the somber side of life.

Instead, organizers are ready to entertain hundreds of people with music much more versatile than the typical, "Woke up this morning ..." blues bit.

Blues on the Rocks starts at 2 p.m. Saturday and continues until midnight at the Verne Drive-In Theater, south Highway 75, Luverne.

One of the organizers, April Gangestad, said Blues on the Rocks isn't just for hard core blues fans. "We have six different groups, who have six different styles, so even if you donÕt know about blues, you can just enjoy it."

Organizing the festival meant a complicated year of shuffling CDs, calling booking agents and scraping for funds in order to bring plans together.

The committee - Gangestad, Pat Saum, Dave Smith, Rick Serie, Dan McGuire, Glenn Burmeister and the late Jason Berning - learned a lot about music and event planning along the way.

Saum and Berning were long-time blues fans and helped weed out potential performers. The festival is actually dedicated to Berning as one of the originators of the Blues on the Rocks concept.

Besides just enjoying the blues, Saum also plays it. He dabbled in the harmonica during his college years at the University of Minnesota Morris. He was turned on to the genre through university-sponsored musical events and performers at local clubs.

He's still got the blues and hopes that it is contagious in Rock County.

Major (and minor)
keys to success
The concept of Blues on the Rocks started as an idea that Saum and Gangestad exchanged in passing.

"But then we said, 'You know, it would be fun to actually have a blues fest in this town,' " Saum said.

Gangestad said, "Pat and I love outdoor music and love the blues, and we just wanted to bring it to where we live."

They formed the committee with the blessing of the Luverne Area Chamber of Commerce, and worked toward what they hope will be an annual event.

In taking calls from people interested in attending, Saum said the location of a restored drive-in theater got many people interested.

Blues on the Rocks had a booth at Sioux Falls Jazz Fest and has advertised in Twin Cities blues publications, so the committee hopes to draw a regional audience.

But local support is also needed, especially for a first-year event.

When looking for a location, the drive-in, owned by Burmeister, made sense more than any other.

Saum said, "It's close to town so people don't have to drive far, and there's a concession stand and bathrooms. It just made sense to have someone in the community as opposed to finding a farmer with an open pasture and trying to get parking and a stage area."

A small grassy area will accommodate people closer to the stage, and the rest of the drive-in leaves room for plenty of chairs for the remainder of the audience.

Saum said it will be a family-friendly environment even though a beer garden is available.

"People can expose their kids to something different other than movies or the typical cultural event," he said.

The movie screen stands as a backdrop to the rented stage, which is equipped with a roof in case of rain. And if it does rain, Saum hopes fans aren't scared away, "Just cut a hole in a garbage bag and come down."

Tickets ahead of time are $15 at the Verne Drive In or the Chamber of Commerce and $20 at the drive-in Saturday.

Parking is available at the drive-in and across Highway 75.

For those who don't want to park at the event, a shuttle service will run every half hour from 2 p.m. to midnight from the following locations: Howling Dog Saloon, Sharkee's, Country Kitchen, Magnolia Steak House and downtown Luverne by City Hall.

"Ba da-da-da-dum"
Most people know that the blues is much more than old men tapping their toes, singing on a rickety front porch about their dejected lives. But many forms of music have elements of the blues.

Elvis sang the blues. So does Eric Clapton, The Rolling Stones and legends like the late Stevie Ray Vaghn.

Luverne's Blues on the Rocks has assembled a small group of artists who are well-respected in blues circles, although probably not known as hit makers in the mainstream ... not yet anyway.

The day starts with Root City Band at 2 p.m. They are high school students from the Twin Cities who play funky blues, rock and soul.

Dave Moore takes stage at 3:30 with his guitar and unique style of blues. He's heard on several recordings, but takes front stage for this event. He was raised in Iowa and has made several appearances on Garrison KeillorÕs "A Prairie Home Companion on NPR."

Rockin' Daddy and the Rough Cuts start at 5 p.m. and are one of the top blues acts in the Midwest. Formerly known as Blues DeLuxe, the band released a critically acclaimed CD "Straight Shooter."

Fourteen-year-old harmonica player Jake "Shakey" Neuman-Markiss and his band perform at 6:30 p.m. This young prodigy has packed performances since 1999 and is expected to increase in popularity this year.

Renee Austin performs her unique blend of Motown, R&B, soul, rock and pop at 8:30 p.m. She's been compared to Janice Joplin and Billie Holiday, but her six-octave range works in a voice all her own. She covers blues' greats and some of her own original music to rave reviews.

The Chicago Rythm and Blues Kings headline at 10:30 p.m. The soul-steeped brand of R&B includes a horn section and lead singer who spent a year with Sly and the Family Stone. They've been a major part of the blues circuit for more than a decade.

By Sara Strong
Of the many outstanding seniors in Rock County, the week of the fair brings recognition to two who clearly exemplify the spirit of volunteerism.

This year's Outstanding Senior Citizens are Annabelle Frakes and LeRoy Luitjens, both of Luverne.

Luitjens was nominated by Everett Brandenburg, on behalf of the Ben Franklin Lodge, and by the Rock County Historical Society.

Brandenburg said, "There are a lot of words to describe LeRoy Luitjens, but the word humble best describes him as he works so diligently in the community. It seems that LeRoy always has a long 'to do' list during his tireless retirement years."

That long list of "to do" items means that Luitjens is seen throughout Rock County in many capacities.

The work that's closest to his heart, Luitjens said, involves veterans. He's especially proud of being past commander at the district level for the American Legion and VFW.

He is past master and secretary of the Ben Franklin Lodge and continues to work with the Shrine Club where he once served as president.

He sits on the Designated Contribution Committee for the Minnesota Veterans Home, Luverne, and works with the veterans hospital in Sioux Falls, S.D.

He is a life member of the American Legion and VFW.

He is on the board of directors at Client Community Services Inc., Worthington, volunteers for the Retired Senior Volunteer Program and is regional chairman of the southwest Minnesota RSVP advisory council.

Luitjens is an active member of the Presbyterian Church, where he helped the church through the recent building project, and served two terms as elder.

Luitjens also volunteers for the Rock County Historical Society and is a board member of that group.

Brandenburg said, "LeRoy is a very active Mason and Shriner, always willing to lend a hand wherever he is needed. As a Shriner, he spends many hours canvassing the merchants to buy tickets for the Shrine Circus. Because of this effort, many children have the opportunity to attend the circus. LeRoy also helps at the Veterans Home to make sure residents have the opportunity to attend the Shrine Circus.

"He wears many hats in the community and his carpentry and masonry skills come in very handy as he is always ready to help with many projects."

The Historical Society said of Luitjens, "He spends many, many volunteer hours doing repair and maintenance at the Hinkly House and museum. He mows lawn and shovels snow at the museum. We depend on him for maintenance decisions in both buildings."

Frakes, the other Outstanding Senior Citizen, said, "Volunteering is its own reward. It's such a good feeling."

Helen Saum, volunteer and marketing coordinator for Luverne's Hospice Cottage, nominated Frakes.

Frakes has been assigned to 26 individual hospice patients and has volunteered almost 400 hours with Hospice. She has helped terminally ill patients in their homes and in nursing homes as well as in the hospital and Cottage.

Saum said, "To give you an idea of the value of Annabelle's work, I would like to mention just a couple situations she has provided direct volunteer support for: Annabelle stayed afternoons with a 31-year-old mother dying of cancer. Annabelle sat with her so she could spend time with her 2-year-old daughter while the husband was at work.

"Annabelle befriended a 78-year-old lady who moved to our community to be close to her son, but knew no one else. Annabelle made weekly, sometimes more often, supportive visits. During this time they developed a friendship and later Annabelle helped her make the transition from living independently in her high rise apartment to moving to the Hospice Cottage when she became too ill to live alone. Annabelle continued to visit her at The Cottage until she died."

Frakes spends two- to three-hour blocks of time at the hospice and has been a valuable tool for family members.

Frakes said, "It's hard because sometimes you end up losing your friends, but it's worth it. They come [to The Cottage] at such a vulnerable time. I consider it a privilege to work at the Hospice."

Frakes is well traveled through Elder Hostel programs and spends much of her summers at a lake home. She is also a volunteer coffee pourer at the Minnesota Veterans Home through the Auxiliary and volunteers to visit with residents at the Mary Jane Brown Good Samaritan Home, Luverne, through RSVP.

She is a member of the volunteer reading group, Bookin' Buddies, and the Luverne Elementary Child Guide program.

Jodi Rops and Joanne Gabrielson of Luverne Child Guides said, "One of the programs we started this year was 'Breakfast Visitors.' This is where anyone from the community can come to the school during school breakfast and eat and visit with those eating breakfast. Ms. Frakes was a frequent visitor at this. She came approximately three times a week. She made the kids feel comfortable and was there for them to talk to. She had a genuine interest in school and the students she was talking to. The students looked forward to seeing her."

Frakes helped students when studying the 50 states by returning from a trip to Hawaii with souvenirs and educational items.

Rops and Gabrielson said in their nomination letter, "She has a genuine interest in youth, and is definitely an asset to our young people. Rock County needs to be proud of this outstanding lady."

Other nominees
Julie Schuur was nominated by George Bonnema. He said, "She actively pursues ways she can be of service to others. Julie is willing and able to help when asked to serve - whether that service involves young or old, church or community, local or world needs."

Alvina Hitch was nominated by Raevette Loonan, who said, "One of the obstacles that Alvina overcomes/struggles with is the ability to get all of her volunteer activities fit into her schedule. Alvina is caring, sincere and funny. She also has a talent for easing people's fears and apprehensions."

Mary Buysse was nominated by American Legion Dell Hogan Post and Auxiliary 123. Her nomination letter said, "Mary has volunteered 1,500 hours this year from April 1, 2001 to April 1, 2002. We feel that is quite an accomplishment and those hours are just for the Legion Auxiliary, working for the veterans."

Sister Mariella Hinkly was nominated by Rock County 4-H and the University of Minnesota Extension Service. Members of the County K-9s said, "As a 4-H club, we have recreated the Hinkly family by doing live tours. Sister Mariella's knowledge and her keen sense of humor and kindness shown to the club members has been such a tremendous help to our 4-H club."

Jake Boomgaarden was nominated by Joan Chesley and Everett Knuth. Chesley said, "Our country and community are a better place to live because of people like him."

Knuth said, "Since an eye problem keeps me from driving, Jake gave me many rides to Sioux Falls for medical attention. Jake deserves the many awards he has received for his sportsmanship and tact that is so much a part of his character."

His nomination letter sited his work as a sports official and various military and community volunteer work.
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