The world’s worst golf swing will be on display at the Luverne Country Club some time in the next 10 days.The Million Dollar Hole in One Shootout will be staged at the LCC July 16-23, and this hacker, armed with my trusty 7-wood (real golfers use irons from the distances they will be asked to hit from) plans to be involved in the competition.Although the event is designed to raise funds for the Good Samaritan Communities of Luverne, the purpose of my presence will not be charity-oriented. Greed is an overwhelming motivator, and I feel I could be one good swing away from claiming one of three prizes worth $50,000 or more that will be up for grabs during the event.Granted, my odds probably are better to win the lottery compared with registering a hole in one. But I’ll take my chances, and I do have a plan that I hope will improve the odds that are stacked against me.The first hurdle I’ll need to clear is qualifying for the semifinals, which can be done at the LCC’s driving range from 10 a.m. to 8 p.m. July 16-22, and from 8 a.m. to 10 a.m. on July 23.A 10-foot circle on the driving range will serve as the target, and all a player has to do is place one ball inside the circle from 130 yards away to advance to the semifinals.This is a fund-raiser, so it will be necessary to bring your checkbook to the qualifying sessions. A player can attempt to qualify for as little as $5 (four chances), and for as much as $100 (115 chances). Attempts also can be purchased for $10, $15, $25, $50 and $75.My plan, which involves surrounding myself with players with similar no-talent swings, will cost me $25. The fee will give me 25 attempts to put a ball into the qualifying circle. All I need to do is get one ball to stop in the target area to qualify for the semifinals. But, the more balls players put into the circle during the qualifying sessions, the more attempts they get to clear the second hurdle of the competition.The semifinals are set for July 23, running from 10 a.m. to noon. The second round will be staged on the driving range, only this time, a player aims at a pin, which will be positioned on the range. Each player gets to fire as many shots at the pin as they placed in the circle during the qualifying rounds. The five players who place the ball closest to the pin will advance to the finals, where one lucky shot could yield fame and fortune.The Shootout finals will take place on the LCC’s third hole on the same day, starting at 6 p.m. The finalists will receive one shot each to record aces from distances of 150, 160 and 170 yards. A 150-yard ace would yield a $250,000 prize, a 160-yard ace gives the player a new $50,000, and a 170-yard ace is good for $50,000.Now that I’ve explained what it will take to be successful at this event, it’s time to reveal my plan of attack. As a player of limited ability, I know how intimidating the game of golf can be. At the same time, I realize that misery loves company. That’s why I’ve invited Don Bryan, Todd Oye and Rick Peterson, our new general manager at Tollefson Publishing, to compete with me as a team. I handpicked my teammates for different reasons, and, if an agreement can be reached, we could share the prize if fate shines on one of us.I know our lineup wouldn’t strike fear into the souls of the LCC’s top players if we had to challenge them, but this is not a golf match. This is about stringing together enough lucky shots to send one of our team members to the finals, where anything can happen.Every team needs a captain, and that honor will go to Rick Peterson.I bestow that honor on him not because he and I teamed up to place third in the bottom feeder’s bracket (also known as the third flight) of the Luverne Chamber of Commerce Scrambler in early June. He’ll be the leader of our team because he’s lucky. On a recent trip to Flandreau, Peterson turned a $1 pull of a crank on the arm of a slot machine into a substantial cash prize. If the man’s streak of good fortune continues, the rest of us could find ourselves with a pocket full of money.Mr. Bryan will be on our team because of experience. A long-time member of the course, the Hardwick banker has achieved what we all will be shooting for—an actual ace at the LCC. Having someone in the lineup who can say, "Been there, done that," will be a psychological advantage for all of his teammates.The only reason I can come up with for inviting Mr. Oye to join the team is because of envy.I recently learned that Luverne High School’s football coach and activites director has an 11-wood in his golf bag. I do have a 9-wood in my arsenal, but I’ve always wanted an 11-wood. By inviting Todd to the team, I might get the chance to add his 11 to my wood selection when he’s not looking.Now that my plan has been revealed, I’ll let the chips fall as they may.The worst thing that can happen to this Dream Team is to have 100 attempts to qualify for the semifinals elude the 10-foot circle. Even if that happens, the Good Samaritan Communities of Luverne will receive $100 in our names. Either way, someone wins.Teammates, keep this in mind. We can take our qualifying shots around 7:30 p.m. on any of the first seven nights of the competition. If we can’t put at least one ball in the circle, fear not. The sun will be setting not long after we’re done. Then we can sneak off the driving range under the cover of darkness.