By Lori Ehde
Sleep, or lack of it, is a major discipline issue in the United States.
What many parents don't understand is that 90 percent of behavioral problems stem from lack of sleep or poor quality sleep, according to family educator Mary Sheedy Kurcinka.
"So many reasons for power struggles may actually be that your child, and probably you, are exhausted," Sheedy Kurcinka said.
She spoke to parents Thursday, April 18, about the importance of sleep to healthy families.
Sheedy Kurcinka is a former director of one of Minnesota's largest Early Childhood Family Education Programs and authored the best seller "Raising Your Spirited Child."
Most sleep information to date focuses on night-time strategies. "The reality," she said, "is a good night's sleep begins long before bedtime."
Her talk Thursday focused on practical ways families can structure their days and behaviors to result in well-rested children and parents.
For example, she offered the latest research on average sleep needs.
Toddlers need 11 hours plus a two-hour nap.
Preschoolers need 11 to 12 hours, plus half of all preschoolers also nap.
School age children need 10 hours.
Adolescents need nine hours (research shows that teens average less than seven hours).
Adults need eight hours (research shows adults average less than seven hours).
"The closer you get to this, the nicer your kids are and the more effective you are as a parent," Sheedy Kurcinka said. "It's amazing how sleep affects our lives."
She said sleep-deprived people are not only low on energy, but they get sick more often, suffer long-term memory loss, battle extra weight (because sleep affects metabolism) and have a general poor outlook on life.
Sleep-deprived children are accident-prone, short-tempered, impatient, clingy, forgetful, impulsive, uncooperative, have trouble learning and complain of headaches.
Well-rested children, on the other hand, tend to be patient, cooperative, flexible, tolerant and more able to inhibit impulses.
This isnÕt to say that all discipline problems are related to sleep, but Sheedy Kurcinka said in her experience with families and conflicts, sheÕs found they often are.
The key is for parents to recognize when bad behaviors are actually tired behaviors and help get their children back on track.
WhatÕs contributing to sleep deprivation in the United States is the popular approach to parenting that says kids need to be challenged and stimulated during the day for optimal brain development.
"All day long they suck it up and soak it in - all that stimulation - and then at night, we tell them, OK, go to bed," she said. "They can't just turn it off."
She said children in Holland get an average of two hours more sleep per day than U.S. children.
That's because the country recognizes sleep for children as a major public health issue.
This isn't to say that children shouldn't be involved, but parents need to recognize sleep patterns.
For example, they should choose weekends to resolve issues with their teen-agers, after they're rested and are better able to reason.
In addition to high stimulation levels throughout the day, Sheedy Kurcinka outlined other barriers to sleep:
Stress
Irregular bedtimes (this shouldnÕt vary by more than an hour - even on weekends)
More than 60 minutes of screen time (television, computers, etc.) per day
Caffeine
Lack of exercise
Roughhousing after dinner.
She said all these things have a physiological affect on the body. "We need to bring the body into balance to kids can sleep at night," she said. "We have to help the brain relax once the adrenal system is stimulated."
She made the point that the quality of sleep decreases the more tired a child is, and she advised parents to recognize a sleepy child before he or she becomes an "overtired" child.
She said this window of opportunity to put a sleepy child to bed varies with each child, depending on temperament, but it often appears with yawns, rubbing eyes or other subconscious signals.
"When you see this happen, scoop them up and get them to bed," she said.
It's important they get to sleep before they go into "overdrive," in which they get wild, irritable or irrational.
Once this happens, she said, the adrenal system has been activated, and it can take up to 90 minutes to get them sleepy again.
Further, overtired children often wake earlier in the morning and their overall sleep quality declines.
It's important for parents to recognize overtired behavior and to respond with ways to calm them - not punish them.
She suggests dim lights, books, quiet games, fans and other "white noise." She advised against TV watching, because the screen light tells the brain itÕs 2 in the afternoon and inhibits sleep.
She spoke briefly on baby sleep patterns and told parents they should follow their hearts when establishing their own night-time rules.
But, she emphasized that whatever children are doing when they fall asleep, they need to be doing the same thing through the night, or sleep is often disturbed.
"We can't make children sleep, but we can recognize each child is different, and we can make decisions during the day to set that biological clock," she said.
"We can create an environment that makes it easier to fall asleep."