At the traffic lights on Main Street and Highway 75 in Luverne I saw a bumper sticker on the pickup in front of me. It said something like "Kids who trap, hunt and fish don't mug little old ladies."
That's a fascinating concept and it just might be true.
Instead of thinking about the concept, though, my thoughts wandered to the driver ... Wondering all kinds of general things about him. Did he really believe that or was the sticker just placed on a whim? I assumed he liked beer with his steak instead of wine and that he probably had children and they had lots of fun bonding in nature. He would make a good neighbor - the kind who lets you borrow a weed wacker when yours is out of plastic cord.
But who knows? The light turned green and I didn't exactly get to introduce myself.
That's why I don't use bumper stickers. I open myself up for analysis enough by writing about my personal life and general views in this column. I don't need the grief bumper stickers could bring.
Bumper stickers carry private thoughts and opinions too far into the public for even me. I think I can figure out a lot about people from their bumper stickers, and I'm not alone.
In a law class, my professor said that as a trial lawyer, during jury selection she would often ask potential jurors what their bumper stickers said. She said it was a question that carried a lot of weight in some cases. It helped her eliminate some jurors and made her want to keep others.
Even though I won't put one on my car, I like some funny ones. I don't like the stickers with political statements or insults on them, though.
I'm puzzled by some of them. There seems to be a "fish" competition out there. They aren't quite bumper stickers, but more like stick-on decals. Some have the standard Christian religious symbol of the outline of a fish. Some have words inside the outline that say "Darwin." Others say "Jesus." Others have a rainbow, which I guess is some sort of symbol for homosexuality or support of gay rights, with a Christian twist.
Whatever the fish is on your car, I won't share in that kind of openness. If anything will invite road rage, it's the Jesus fish tailgating a Darwin fish.
Even though I don't feel like placing a sticker on my bumper, I realize they give me a little free entertainment at a stop light.