Marten and Betty Kruger say their children have brought lots of laughter to their lives. They play cards and games regularly and enjoy spending quality family time together.Pictured left to right Marten, Heather, Betty and Jonathan.
By Sara Strong
Two children traveled across the country and through the sadness of their mother’s death to make their home in rural Rock County.
Despite what they’ve gone through to get here, they say they are happy where they are.
"The farm part, I’m not sure that I love so much," Heather Kruger, 16, said. "But the rest is good."
Her mom, Betty, said, "Sure, when you have to get up and feed the animals everyday, you say you don’t like the farm."
Heather and her brother, Jonathan, 11, were adopted from New Mexico by Marten and Betty Kruger three years ago.
The Krugers want to share their family’s story with others and remind people that adopting older children is a viable option for those interested in parenting.
They, along with other local adoptive families, will be a part of an open, educational meeting on adoption at 7 p.m. Thursday, Jan. 16, in the United Methodist Church, Luverne.
Before they were adopted, Heather and Jonathan were eager to have a permanent mom and dad and get out of the foster care system.
But why Minnesota?
All they knew about the state was that it was cold, but after just two phone visits, Heather and Jonathan asked the Krugers if they could call them Mom and Dad.
Of course, the answer was yes, and the Krugers went to New Mexico to get their family. The children still have contact with some of their family members there.
Since coming here, the few years have been full of learning and love for parents and children.
Before they came to live in Minnesota, for example, Heather and Jonathan hadn’t even seen an icicle. In fact, one of Betty’s favorite stories is about Jonathan’s reaction to seeing them:
When school was cancelled one day during their first winter here, Jonathan was outside and then ran into the house, wondering how stalactites (which he had seen growing in caves in the Southwest) had formed around the house.
Now, he understands how icicles are formed and says he likes to eat them.
The Krugers share tales of their time together like any family, even though they’ve had fewer years together than most families with children their age.
They want people to know that adopting older children has been a blessing in their life, and that it can be for others, too.
Marten said, "We were at a wedding and a funeral and people asked how parenting was. … We had a good answer for them."
‘Jumping for joy’
The Krugers married in their ‘40s and knew adopting an infant might not be possible. They then thought they could contribute by becoming foster parents, but decided against it.
The state has certain code requirements for foster homes that the Krugers didn’t want to meet in their older home. And besides that, Marten said, "Knowing my emotions, and Betty’s too, I know that saying good-bye wouldn’t work."
He said, "A door closed, but it opened up to better things."
Soon after opting against foster parenting, Betty was getting her hair done and commented that she was just beginning to think of adoption.
Someone in the shop mentioned the Rev. Bart Fletcher and his wife Claudia, Luverne, who have adopted nine children.
Betty called Claudia, who networked through some social services, and helped find a good sibling match for the Krugers.
"I’m absolutely thrilled we did this," Betty said. "It just puts life in the house."
The children are grateful for a permanent home, too.
"I’m glad we came here," Heather said.
"When I knew we were going to be adopted," Jonathan said, "I was jumping for joy I was so happy."
The farm was easy for Jonathan to grow into. He enjoys the hobby animals they own and likes outdoor recreation — like dad building snow hills for sledding in the winter and water fights in the summer.
"Within seconds of coming here," Jonathan said, "I knew I loved the farm."
More are waiting
In Minnesota, there’s a constant struggle to find homes for older children whose biological parents can’t care for them.
The state Department of Human Services says that of the 692 children waiting for adoption, "All have been traumatized during their critical developmental years. Most will need additional educational, medical or psychological help as they grow toward maturity. Many have been in three or more out-of-home placements, such as foster homes."
Of those waiting to be adopted in Minnesota:
60 percent are siblings who need to be adopted together
57 percent are children of color
56 percent have been chronically neglected or abused
43 percent have been diagnosed with a psychological or medical disability
40 percent are 6 to 11 years old
36 percent are 12 to 18 years old
24 percent are under 6 years old
Claudia Fletcher said, "I think it is very interesting that 76 percent of the kids available are over 6, because most people who want to adopt state that they want a child under five. I would venture to say, that means that probably about 60 percent of the kids are 9 or older."
Claudia, "The state is really in trouble right now, because people just aren’t catching the vision to adopt kids over 8."
Other than next Thursday’s meeting, there are also planned training meetings on Feb. 6 and 7 for people interested in adoption.